2012年5月19日星期六

the Lakers to a 99-96 victory.

Durant The Thunder after the jumper to lead again, Bryant missed a jumper, but Gasol and Blake continuous scraping the offensive rebound and eventually Kobe manufacturing Viagra less foul and again two free throws, the Lakers 95-94once again overtake. Ibaka shooting, the Thunder into the foul tactics. Artest and Bryant free throws, Durant lore not, the Lakers to a 99-96 victory.


the two sides to the 74 level in the final nine minutes.

Twin Towers jointly four free throws in the Lakers to 73-72 overtake Thunder put Durant, the Lakers put on shortly after Bryant, the two sides to the 74 level in the final nine minutes. Jumper to help the Thunder once again leading in Durant, Bryant scored four points to complete the go-ahead, but Harden and Durant teamed 7-0 wave of attacks, the horns pause the Lakers to 83-78. Pause Houbuleike scored 5 points, the Thunder answered with five points, both of you, I am going to continue to stalemate together. Bryant first layup, followed by manufacturing Harden's foul and 2 free throws, the Lakers 93-92 in the last 1 minute 09 seconds when the go-ahead score.


Ibaka tipped succeeded, Kobe breakthrough to the inside hit a layup,


Ibaka tipped succeeded, Kobe breakthrough to the inside hit a layup, the Bryant's playoff shots has gone beyond the sky hook, rose to second. Durant continuous succeeded the Saaf Luosha hit the ball, Wei less layup to help the Thunder 7-0 wave of attacks by 4 points ahead to 60-56. Call for suspension of the Lakers, Bryant has completed 2 +1, but the Thunder scored six points, seven points lead to 66-59. Bynum and Bryant join forces answered with a wave of 8-2 wave of attacks to catch up with 67-68. Durant and Blake two free throws in the Thunder eventually leading 70-69 into the minor battle. Kobe Bryant 22 points, Durant 23 points.

Harden once again hit the ball,

Harden once again hit the ball, catch Viagra less scored four points after the Thunder 22-25. Blake within the sudden foreign investment and scored 5 points, and join forces in hot pursuit of Harden and Nick Collison. Sessions 2 free throws, Durant hit the ball the Thunder to 33-32 completed the go-ahead. Re-play of Kobe Bryant quickly eat 3 fouls in this field, but he insisted on staying on the floor and 4 fine full re-leading the Lakers to 36-33. Scraping a floor ball, Westbrook and Ron Artest, Jordan - Jordan Hill had a conflict, the results of Wei and Ron ate a technical foul. Wei little jumper, the two sides started the see-saw. Artest hit a pointer by the Cavaliers the ball, the Lakers to 50-47 lead into intermission. Kobe Bryant and Kevin Durant each had 13 points, Wei least 14 minutes.


2012年5月18日星期五

so George can get back on defense.

"The Flash" is characterized by fast, so walkers are targeting is very strong in his defense, the Heat's forte lies in the outstanding offensive and defensive rotation speed. If the Pacers offensive if not, they tend to quickly back on defense, which is to contain the "Lightning Man" in fast-break advantage. Which the trench warfare of defensive George defensive Wade, has a height advantage, although slower than the "Lightning Man" is so high, but the Pacers inside with Hibbert such a tall center can intercept, delay the half of the Wade field breakthrough speed, so George can get back on defense.


dropped into the game's first goal.


Half-Wade played 17 minutes and 6 seconds, a total of five field goal attempts but the ball did not hit, only to get three rebounds and one block of data, along with two turnovers. "Lightning Man" poor performance in this game, this is also the first time in his NBA career in which the first half a point in the playoffs without the status. Including the whole game, "The Flash" attack state is very bad, which also led to even offensive in the second half when not shot. Until section II, there are 10 minutes and 22 seconds, Wade only concentrate on one thing in mind, cast hit, dropped into the game's first goal.

which in the first half of a scoreless for his first.

Wade had already become the league's top scorers, however, this superstar will encounter in Waterloo, in the second round of the third war to a 75-94 lost to the Indiana Pacers Miami Heat Dwyane13 shots of the audience only hit the ball, only to get five points and five rebounds, two assists and one steal and two blocks of data, which in the first half of a scoreless for his first.


I have forgotten at the time what to say!

When it comes to this scene after the game, coach Spoelstra said in the game, this scene is very normal not surprising. Anyone in the team, under coach to the players do not know that this situation will occur when Sri Lankan commander said, "Wade and I are together for a long time, the occurrence of this sort of thing is normal." Adams handsome believe Wade will rebound in the next game, "I know him I know he will rebound." Sri Lankan commander said. Loses the Wade apparently feel less cool, When Asked Adams handsome, a conflict, Wade ashen face and said, "no comment, I have forgotten at the time what to say!"


Wade was a very bad throughout the first half,going 0

on the game, Wade was a very bad throughout the first half, a scoreless, going 0. Not to the performance of the force to make Dwyane Wade's emotions became pale, the third quarter and 3 minutes and 51 seconds, Wade feeling out of control, directly went to the sidelines, constantly yell at the coach Spoelstra behind, and very fast behind him in Adams handsome mercilessly dumped right arm to vent, veteran Juwan - Howard Seeing keep communication with Wade in order to quell the anger of the latter.


Fire unable to reverse the score 1-2 behind

The fire, unable to reverse the score 1-2 backward distal walkers up and play a wave of 7-3 spurt to expand the advantage to 18 points. Chalmers chopped seven points to help the Heat remain in the race, but this performance is still not arouse the fighting spirit of his teammates, the Pacers shot a wave of 10-2 offensive, leading the Pacers 86-67. James continuous scored two goals, but Hill's three-pointers to make the emperor's efforts in vain. Pointer with 2 minutes 43 seconds, James and Wade are substituted, the Heat announced the surrender.



Strong risk of the game gunpowder stuffed conflict

he second half of the game gunpowder strong risk-brewing conflict, Wade hit a jumper to the first pitch of the game personal, but then Granger and George continuous one-third outside shooting, after a wave of 19-3 spurt, the Pacers 64-50lead. The scene of increasingly strong smell of gunpowder, 8 minutes 41 seconds West, a breakthrough caused by Battier foul will continue to ball tightly win the hands of Chalmers looked very unhappy, as soon as the ball brushed the move infuriated the Wei Lancaster, first pushed about Chalmers, then trash talking provocation, the referee immediately separate the two, and gave the West a technical offense, to avoid a conflict. Wade's mood has changed, or even an altercation with coach Spoelstra Field. 1 minute 31 seconds, James ball attack ability, Granger block to grab the shirt of the emperor, the latter showed the left elbow to respond, Granger immediately kill over the trend of great shopping, the side of the referee see potential bad quickly stepped forward to stop, gave Granger a technical foul again to avoid a conflict. Three cruised the Pacers leading 69-55 Heat.


the end of the half, the Heat Pacers fight 43 level.

Half a scoreless second section, Dwyane Wade Jones up on the H 5 points, it also greatly stirred up his teammates after wave of 9-2 offensive, Indiana to chase the score 26-28. James layup to help the Miami Heat stability of the army, and 7 minutes and 16 seconds, James hit to pass assists Turiaf complete the dunk. Walker inside the twin towers also refused to yield, after another attack succeeded score gradually approaching. Hill shot hit the outside, but also staged a nifty dumped, go-ahead score to 37-36. Times of crisis, Chalmers to come forward and took 5 minutes, to tie it at 41 level. Hill made ​​two free throws, James the ball into the medal inside the ball into the basket, the end of the half, the Heat Pacers fight 43 level.



2012年5月16日星期三

2 minutes and 51 seconds when playing in the fourth quarter.

In that game, Yi Jianlian staged 2 +1 performing a dunk and foul, Yi Jianlian, left fans playoffs lens. Yi Jianlian playoff abrupt end when haddadi still follow the Grizzlies and Clippers fighting hard, but the fate of his first five games and Yi Jianlian almost, basically, is the team bench the end of the rotation players, in addition to the 11 minutes of playing time to open the fourth game, the remaining four games to sit through the bench. However, in the fourth game, haddadi performance of three points, five rebounds, and in section III, the two sides of the game deadlocked when the coach's trust appearances. Haddadi Hollings of trust in the sixth game today, 2 minutes and 51 seconds when playing in the fourth quarter.


it has become Yi Jianlian career so far the only playoff time.

2011 haddadi to accept an interview, the Iranian center with confidence that he is stronger in the game was better. Asia in the NBA, the two best post players, haddadi and Yi Jianlian are lucky enough to follow their respective teams reached the playoffs. Yi Jianlian, where the Mavericks early in the Thunder swept, Yi Jianlian in the four games only played five minutes in the third, 3 1 2 points, 2 rebounds, 1 steal, it has become Yi Jianlian career so far the only playoff time.


but will have a sparkling performance.

Bear away win over the Clippers will recover as the series 3-3 game Iranian center haddadi in the last one played 2 minutes and 5 seconds, his brief shining moment became the beginning of the counter-attack by the Grizzlies. Yi ended the journey of the playoffs, of haddadi the playoff still continues, and his performance on the pitch a little better than Yi Jianlian. At least in the time of the game key, he can get playing time, but will have a sparkling performance.


far more than the Clippers with 26 points

he two sides last game, the Grizzlies 92-80 easily thrown to the Clippers, inside the gap between the two sides has become the key to the match. The whole game marks - Pau Gasol and Zach - Zach Randolph scored 23 points, seven rebounds and 19 points 10 rebounds, and two of a total of 25 shot 14. At the same time, the Clippers inside combination of Jordan and Griffin, a total of 11 shots 6, in which Griffin scored 15 points and 11 rebounds, Jordan received only one did not grab a rebound. Inside scoring of the two teams, the Grizzlies team scored 48 points, far more than the Clippers with 26 points


the Clippers how to resist Guy has become a new problem

Blows early in the season announced underwriting Billups aside, the Clippers now the most troublesome Caron - Caron Butler's injury in the first reversal of the Grizzlies, Butler suffered the palm of your hand fractures. Butler was the guy in addition to - Chris Paul team with playoff experience, reflected in the first game, his outside scoring ability this Clippers need, and he defensive experience was that no one can replace, Butler announced reimbursement, the Clippers how to resist Guy has become a new problem, but this loss may allow them to receive the first round of the playoffs this season can only swim outcome.


This season, the Celtics matters worse

This season, the Celtics matters worse, the loss of Jeff - Green generals in the beginning of the season, and ready when the Hawks turned on, the team one of the Big Three - Ray Allen in the playoffs because of an ankle injurythe hung mianzhanpai, only dressed in a suit in the sidelines. Everyone knows that - Ray Allen for the role of the Celtics, accurate, super big heart, and a tacit agreement between Pierce and Kevin Garnett. Was on the bench - Ray Allen became the vanguard of the Celtics bench and score points of the most stable, less his Celtic rotation suddenly a shorter than the eagle, which may make them the first round of the road to go more difficult and may even be in the first round will go home.


The people have been looking forward to the Knicks sudden

The people have been looking forward to the Knicks sudden, something happened in Miami who, but in fact, the Knicks In addition to Anthony outside the few people to come forward. The first match, the team's starting position on the 2nd Hong Pat then left knee cruciate ligament tear and leave, and destined to miss the entire playoffs, no doubt the Knicks to a less prominent in the defense of Wade. After losing the second, over-heated Stoudemire blow smashed a fire extinguisher windows - which led directly to a hand injury, the absence of the third game almost became a foregone conclusion, this disadvantage of the original strength Knicks worse, after all, the third war may be a turning point game, Stoudemire's absence is likely to lead the Knicks to be swept or eventually Heat 4-1 kill.


and old wounds will lay hidden dangers to their injuries.

Second, because the impact of downtime, this season's training camp time is greatly compressed, the preseason has been largely been canceled, and these are precisely the key players last season preparing for the For players, training camp and preseason is the best period of their bodies adjusted to match the state, such adjustments are essential for the physical condition of players throughout the season. Finally, distribution from the injured players suffered injuries, is basically the team's core players or injury players, heavy game, and old wounds will lay hidden dangers to their injuries.


once in the face of intense competition can easily injured.

Yet no matter which side of the explanation is more authoritative, injured from a number of players, especially the situation seriously injured frequently, at least the following factors is questionable: First, over-intensive schedule arrangements. Although only 66 regular season games this season, but the season is too short, only four months time, so often there will be players for three consecutive days to play three games or a few days to play more games happen. Players after the game is difficult to get a chance to relax, and even recovery training has become a luxury. Over time, the players, especially the team's key players, the body is always in a state of fatigue, once in the face of intense competition can easily injured.


it will not lead to explosive similar to Ross this injury.

Everyone knows that each party will be held responsible from their own interests, such as reimbursement early season due to wrist injured Jermaine O'Neal - said, fatigue, and season to concentrate the root causes of key players injured. Stern for example, Ross this season, played only 40 games, apparently does not exist fatigue one said. Medical experts also explained that if the players are too tired, then it will not lead to explosive similar to Ross this injury.


Playoffs opening day game

Playoffs opening day game, but Ross in the final moments caused by a torn ligament in the league in an uproar. In the ensuing first battle of the Knicks and the Heat, Knicks guard Hong Porter suffered a nightmare and Ross. Magic and Pacers opener also failed to escape injury, the Pacers bench guard Leandro Barbosa sprained left ankle, played only 20 minutes. Eight teams debut the next day the same tragedy, Spurs center Split played only eight minutes left wrist sprain, the Clippers the main Karon - Butler left hand fracture. If you count the regular season injuries - Ray Allen, Lin Hao, this season with injuries frequently really shocking.


2012年5月11日星期五

but it may be a sharp decline in the risk of braving the state.

- Jason Terry and Jason Kidd may leave the same reasons, Terry's annual salary is relatively high resulted in the calf probably had to clean out his contract this season, Terry $ 11.15 million contract. Where games, averaging 15.1 points and 3.6 assists in the data is indeed worthy of his contract, however, this old striker has been 34 years old, began at the end of his NBA career. Team coveted Terry league many they are completely open to draw more than calf high contract, while Terry was once a hero of the Mavericks twice in the Finals, but big spenders, but in the Man aspects the budget of the Kuban, and probably will not be happy to accept Terry get a new contract amount of money, but it may be a sharp decline in the risk of braving the state.


most likely not to renew the old guard.

- Jason Kidd selection over the past 20 years, the best point guard, then Kidd probably will win the most votes, he not only dominate the super guard gathered in the 1990s era in the 21st century generation of players retiredmaintain a high level of competitive state. However, he had more than excellent, and now has also been a 39-year-old "old age" players last season, averaging 7.9 points and 8.2 assists for the excellent performance compared with Kidd this season, not only failed to maintain a healthy state (only played 48 field), while averaging the data is only 6.2 points and 5.5 assists. Kidd is no longer on the defensive end the 2011 playoffs, the skill of the containment Bryant, Kidd now are carrying nearly 10 million annual salary, contract, and the state began to decline, an urgent need to clean up the team salary cap space to introduce strong assistance calf, most likely not to renew the old guard.


who are most likely to leave it?

With the Mavericks in the playoffs, the Thunder swept out, the dream of defending Dallas burst, as an old team, the Mavericks in the 2012 restructuring is inevitable, so they willto clean up some of the players in the squad which is inevitable. Which in the current lineup of the Mavericks, who are most likely to leave it?


Management too confident and self-confidence is a must

Management too confident and self-confidence is a must, but the calf management is clearly over-confident in the 2011-2012 season, when hit by defeat after the beginning of a season, the team should take advantage of the mid-season move to make adjustments, but the owner Mark Cubanstill on hold, which also has been swept for the Mavericks first round of the playoffs planted foreshadowing. In addition, coach Rick Carlisle for the team lineup is always ambiguous, the entire regular season tried a total of 13 sets of starting lineup, it is in constant change, the Mavericks wasted a lot of opportunities.


Off the bench too to force

the playoffs, "Jet" Terry averaged 13.8 playoffs last season, averaging 17.5 points, there is some discrepancy. In fact, a microcosm of the performance of Terry only Mavericks off the bench this season, compared with last season, the Mavericks this season of depth has shrunk dramatically, particularly striking power seems to rely on Terry a Shigemori light attack coach Rick Carlisle committed the most fatal errors. In addition, the Mavericks last season to win the killer pointers seems to have completely disappeared.


Over-reliance on the "chariot"


2011 playoffs, Nowitzki actions prove that he still is an all-star players, but his foot stand shooting is still one of the league's most lethal weapons. Nowitzki Xinxinbaopeng is not wrong, but the Mavericks if only by virtue of the German car a weapon to conquer the world is some good to be true. This season, the Mavericks array in addition to Nowitzki, the second scoring option is not stable, and even the German car's own admission, this season, the Mavericks' offensive weapons little.



their role is minimal.

Many to win the hero to leave the calf naturally need to add fresh blood, so Odom, Vince Carter, Jerry West, Maxin Mi, Wright joined the team. Unfortunately, these players have a common feature - useless. Odom since come to Dallas has been agitated, and final calf only to cut him, Carter and West touches have been insisting to the last, but unfortunately both of them just the firefly light of, and can not become the offensive side of the Mavericks mainly rely on. As for the bench players such as Maxin Mi and Wright, their role is minimal.


Serious brain drain


this season, the Mavericks a serious brain drain, Tyson - Chandler, Caron - Butler, JJ Barea, Stevenson, Stojakovic leave. These five, three important rotation player for the Mavericks won the championship, where Chandler was the defensive core of the Mavericks, Barea, despite only a substitute, but his role, he is not worse than the veteran Kidd, while Bart Le is the offensive side of weapon. Attack, defense, backcourt core all the serious loss, which no doubt is the root of the problem for the defending champion Dallas Mavericks.



I think the zone defense is likely to.

Game of the regular season, the Pacers have been the Heat zone defense, which also had some effect. Vogel still consider doing so in the playoffs, "tell the truth, of course I thought to continue to use this approach, I will continue to research, I think the zone defense is likely to."


it will be difficult to limit.


Prior to Heat coach Spoelstra said Walker series will be filled with physical confrontation, Vogel also agrees, "This is the eastern style of basketball, is not it? Especially in the eastern part of the top two ballteams meet, they have a good physical talent, we will emphasize the physical confrontation. "

But with the Pacers beat the Heat key Vogel thought would be offensive efficiency, "our most stressed part of the enforcement of the attack, the Heat's biggest advantage is the quick scoring offense and defense conversion, if performed on the offensive endpoor increased, mistakes or poor shooting efficiency, it will be converted into their fast-break opportunities, but once we let them continuous play fast attack and defense conversion, it will be difficult to limit. "





I die Give me a break

Girl: "I die Give me a break!" Teacher: "hold on a minute, hips pricey little girl: so painful." The teacher: "No feet Changopen point, raise the point. "girl:" Ah.! ah.! "teacher:" Yes! hold on, this way. "girl:" it really hurt and I can not stand. "girls head to takethe sweat, vulnerability gasped, eyes closed mouth open, a very painful way. Girl: "...." The girl and closed his eyes to shed tears. Ten minutes later, the teacher talk: "Today's gymnastics stretching training ends..


Early after work

Early after work, someone to go home was surprised to find his wife having an affair with another man in bed, his anger Qiqiaoshengyan, incoherent, said: "You. You. Are you in the end doing?" His wifethe bed of the man, said: "you see, I said that right, my stupid husband with what is called 'betrayal' do not know."


so why not the way to completely eliminate traffic accidents?

His wife is being read with relish on a news report: "Due to a growing number of women advocating new simple clothing such as miniskirts and clothes shorts, so street traffic accidents, according to the statistics have been reduced by half." At this time,next to her husband if Wu inserted a sentence: "so why not the way to completely eliminate traffic accidents?


husband carrying a electric hot water back ...


Wedding anniversary, a very unromantic husband asked his wife: daughter-in-law, you say you want what! "His wife leaning on her husband who fondly:" I want to warm. "My husband smoked a cigarette, and then went out. After a few hours, her husband carrying a electric hot water back ...



"I was wild child understand?"

A three exported to a restaurant for dinner, the adult point of Wild Fauna and Flora burning dish. Q: "Mom, why the point of so many wild?" The mother said: "wild!" The child asked: "I was wild child understand?"


"My dad birthday ..."

Colleagues sister's Signature: I re-pro did not your wife pro noon angry with her breath, I spent two hours was sacked four vegetables you eat, the results of a phone call your wife, you go home. The face of four dishes and your longevity noodles, a silent, silent ah. I asked: "you sing it out ah?" Her back: "My dad birthday ..."


roared to your mother just died!

Son very sticky, just go to school, go home first sight less than I would ask my mom? ", Her husband will answer me where. Day at noon in the kitchen cooking, the son comes back again the same problem, finally fed up husband "your mother is dead!" Son of a quit, and roared to your mother just died! "


she would apply for a refund.

Taobao released a commodity called "living expenses", the beginning of each month, my mother bought time to complete the task of the cost of living to me, and does not require any fees. Bank transfer children weak burst! However. . . My mother said, if you make her angry, she would apply for a refund.


This is my girlfriend!

Girlfriend for the first time with a small home to see parents, Ming dynasty was very nervous. The girlfriend said: "Do not stress, you like to return to their home on the line." To a girlfriend's house, the door opened, the girlfriend's parents came up to the enthusiasm. Ming dynasty, hastened to say: "Mom, Dad, I'm back! This is my girlfriend!"


"Auntie, I Altman, you can beat him?"

One-year-old Xiaopen friends, his mother a friend is pregnant, my belly drop, very strange Xiaopen friends, and asked: "Aunt your stomach is what?" Auntie to tease him, said: "is a little monster.Xiaopen friends: "Auntie, I Altman, you can beat him?"


6-year-old son

6-year-old son, was kind enough to sleep with a room, put a small bed next to the bed. One morning I was up first son to drill into the big bed to sleep holding her mother. After a while he woke up, said to me: "Dad, you see, I sleep with your wife oh ..."


2012年5月9日星期三

I think he is a commander. "

The start of the examination, an elementary school student raised his hand, the teacher came. "I did not bring a pencil." The student said. "If a soldier on the battlefield, but forgotten gun, you say What kind of soldiers?" I think he is a commander. "


"Dad phones cordless!

Cordless phones TV advertising, at this moment, the home phone rang, the original is to find the father, the son has to use scissors to cut the telephone line, showed my father. "Dad phones cordless!


"Can not!"

Son in third grade. Check his papers, which have one question to ask: "Can you put your favorite season specific description?" The son wrote the answer is: "Can not!"


high school is so fell to his death.

One day, two students in the classroom building hallway next to the railing slapstick see the teacher, in all earnestness, said: "I ​​am a university student, high school is so fell to his death."


"Compounding"

Bedroom, a few people that something is ready to review the political knowledge. A student asked "What mediation system in our country?" A student replied, resounding: "Compounding"


Meal in the school dining room,

Meal in the school dining room, called clear copy cucumber, fresh cucumber not a little yellow, and said: "Master, cucumber how yellow, ah?" Master and says loudly: "Students, do not cucumber or green?"I think also. . .


A deaf-mute to the hardware store

A deaf-mute to the hardware store to buy nails, two fingers of your left hand holding the nail-like, on the counter, and then the right hand for hammering like. The clerk handed a hammer, the deaf customer shook his head and pointed to the spike for holding two fingers, the salesman finally get on. This time again a blind customer. . . . . . Imagine, the blind will be how to use the easiest way to buy a pair of scissors?


from the bench under the decent.

A woman to the Consumers Association complaint to her of her husband Personals false advertising: Comrade, I complained to my husband, he Personals false advertising, and hide the main facts. He said he's tall, decent, in fact, when I saw him, he also does decent, from the bench under the decent.


That you Monastic good. Why pay a fine?

A drunk riding a bike through a red light Pol.ice stopped, on the spot fine of 20 yuan. Drunk alcohol mouth puffing: "Why punish me?" Pol.ice snapped: "Because you violate the rules of the road, made ​​a mistake." Drunks are not convinced: "I ​​made ​​a mistake? That you Monastic good. Why pay a fine? "


"buy a washing machine steamed rice!"

For convenience, wash the overalls, the unit bought a new washing machine, the manager in the command handling. This a good thing, a curious employees understand the question: "managers, buy a washing machine doing ah?" Manager: "buy a washing machine steamed rice!"


Rub! Failed. . . . .

109 876. . . A wake up! Dongfeng One track telemetry signal is normal, normal mobile phone alarm, wearing normal underwear, wearing a normal jacket, quilts commence normal, the body and the bed board are separated, the body and the bed board are. . . Separation. . . Rub! Failed. . . . .


actually dare I grab food to eat,killed deserve.

Have a lot of flies flying in a restaurant, a patrons really can not stand, pick up the fly-swatter to play, and finally reduced the number of flies, he said relief: these shit - actually dare I grab food to eat,killed deserve.


which saw them you'll be glad?

The dog is indeed man's best friend. If you do not believe you can do it by yourself to do this experiment: Lock your dog and your wife in the trunk of the car off for an hour. See when you open the trunk, which saw them you'll be glad?



"I'm really sorry that they distorted wall barrier."

Assemble a wall to help a bricklayer gives dark completion, only the leading operator wages. The employer asked: "several of it?" Said the foreman: "they are busy." Employers took the money paid to the foreman. . . The foreman left, employers see a few people came out from the wall. . . Then the wall collapsed. . . The foreman ran, said: "I'm really sorry that they distorted wall barrier."


"Look! This does not have come to my body? "

A landlord withheld the wages of the small servant, but bad to do too obvious, so always looking for his mistake. One day, the small servant, the main fan in the bedroom to the ground, the landlord asked: "my body sweat fan to give you where to go?" Small servant know that he is playing tricks, he pointed to himself said: "Look! This does not have come to my body? "



and at worst no worse than the tongue.

Master of his black valet, said: "You go to slaughter a sheep, the best part was served to us." As a result, the valet client to sheep tongue. The next day the master said to him: "You slaughter a sheep, the worst part was served to us." This time, the valet end to the sheep tongue. The master asked him why? He said: "good no better than the tongue, and at worst no worse than the tongue."


"it hit my mouth sub Emergency!"

A man, was furious, the servants have a fault, he ordered his servant kneel, preparing spanking, Lianhan, take the board! "To take the board!" The board did not bring him anxious to death. Servant to see him urgently so, they think of a way for him, he said: "it hit my mouth sub Emergency!"


dvantages. good appetite, good sleep."

The wife said to her husband: "Our nanny to go and she let me give her to write a comment. I wrote two shortcomings, deft hands and feet is not impolite to the host, you want two advantages tell me how?"husband: "advantages. good appetite, good sleep."


where the ruins of the private rooms.

A couple go to a restaurant for dinner, ask the hotel have private rooms? Waiter: Our private dining room is to the distinguished guests such as the star prepared. Woman just wearing dark glasses to ridicule, then I am the star Oh! Waiter: a grain of salt that way, please. . . . . Couple seated, wondering what to ask? This is your private room? Waiter: because we are here has never been to the distinguished guests, private dining rooms torn down, where the ruins of the private rooms.


2012年5月8日星期二

your brothers look so much like how I do not see it? "

, Tea party, a woman asked her neighbor: "ugly is the opposite that Who?" Sitting next to him answered: He is my brother. "The woman was embarrassed, and after a while the child only stammered:" I am a fool, your brothers look so much like how I do not see it? "


I also connected with a fool you.

Work crowded bus, standing next to a family of three, they were all seated. The child cried out to get off, his parents said: "immediately to the next intersection." I was a happy and have a seat. Such as the N stations, they did not want to get off the signs until I get off, they're still sitting. The parents really like to lie to children! I also connected with a fool you.



our bakery flour to carry over.

Go to the supermarket to buy things, the bill came in a large group of people, to the cashier brush barcode brush half a day there is a bag of face painting is not on, said: "Sir, the next to buy it." "No, Why the hell ahI row a half-day team, you painted a few times. "or not the cashier asked me where I get the flour, she went to check the prices, and soon she was panting to come back and say:" Sir, our supermarket is no suchflour, our bakery flour to carry over. "


I have much to raise a sister!

I am older, unmarried, female. Day, the younger brother suddenly said to me: "I think I must be very miserable old age." I am curious to ask why you? He said: "as long as others to support their parents, I have much to raise a sister!" ......


This is the obedient child of the end!

Primary school, once, at the same table to lend a videotape. Go home and watch the time, were the words "young people under the age of 18, accompanied by their parents to watch, and then rushed to find their parents.Later, almost an entire week badly battered in the tide. - This is the obedient child of the end!



This is a disease where the tire

A classical studies students go to school late, the teachers invited the parents asked the reason, his mother said: "This is a disease where the tire, the expected date eight days before he was born."


"how much money a cup of this tea?"

That day at noon to eat, so hot, I make some tea, also father to soak a cup, end of the past. Dad took the tea, his face alert asked: "how much money a cup of this tea?"




"Go to Grandma Happy New Year, let me get what?"

Son: "Go to Grandma Happy New Year, let me get what?" Mom: "children go out to get something." Son: "to the grandparents home last year to New Year, you do not say a child allowed to take 10 pounds things?"mom: "your mission is to retake from the grandmother came home."


also have to tour around them circle around. "


A ship is sunk, a great white shark and his son found a lot of people struggling in the sea. The sharks father said: "We are now around them to swim a few laps, only to reveal a fin so they can see." Them so swim a few laps later, the shark father and said: "We turn laps around them, the fins are exposed to, let them see they swim a few laps later, the shark father finally said: "now we are starting to eat them whole." eat shark son asked: "Dad, why not start off they eat? also have to tour around them circle around. "
A shark father: "You do not have their urine scared out, taste much better it?"


say in captivity as the backyard of the delicious.

A group of cannibal dragon hovering over in the suburbs. Debate to go to the city to eat in town or go to the rural eat countryman. The last head Long decided to go to rural areas, the reasons are: the city people smell (cosmetics) is too large, say in captivity as the backyard of the delicious.



a good attitude.

Was geographical, some physical, some good history, it was a good math, it was a good language was English, it was good chemistry ... I ... a good attitude.


2012年5月7日星期一

"You're not my fathers,

Father dedicated to his son developed a work schedule: seven in the morning, get up, eat breakfast, go to school; lunch, Hugh, 13 point to go to school; evening dinner, homework, half past eight to sleep. The son looked at the work schedule, said: "You're not my fathers, or else how would a day will not let me on the toilet."

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"eat a few years rice, you can."

Grandson wanted to mention a bucket of water from the well may be how, not to mention moving. Grandmother of the edge of the water to be brought, he said: "eat rice a few years, you can return home, her grandmother a line to wear to go to the pinhole, due to presbyopia, tried also can not get into. Grandson to see and help her to wear inside, and then grandson grandmother said: "eat a few years rice, you can."

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"This is both of us money."

, A charity fund-raising party, fund-raising to two donations to mean a well-known millionaire. One donated a penny, so we all interesting to look at the other how to donate less money than a penny. Results The Regal calmly said: "This is both of us money."


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I first say it is not more face? "

A blind buy biscuits, stall, said: "Boss, give me a few burned biscuits!" Stall not understand the question: "Why, when you have to paste?" Blind Road: "I do not say youalso took the opportunity to paste, I first say it is not more face? "


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"I use this knife to Shasha water vapor in the wine!"

The hotel owner, please write shop signs, the man finished, they've painted a knife. Jingwen boss: "draw a knife What do you mean?" Replied: "I use this knife to Shasha water vapor in the wine!"


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"I insist on half time to time, twelve, you go to call. "

Private owners accidentally fell into the yard near the well, where screaming. His wife said: "hold on for a while, I went to the factory called the workers to rescue you." The boss said: "Hold on, is it now?" Wife: "11:30" boss: "I insist on half time to time, twelve, you go to call. "


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cooked? Cooked I scooped

Night supermarket to buy frozen dumplings promotional MM enthusiasm to greet me also pulled in the past: try it try it!!!! I accept their hospitality, eating a chewing promotional MM has been staring at me until I finished, she asked earnestly: cooked? Cooked I scooped

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here is the foot, here is a small JJ.

A pregnant woman to the hospital to do B, ask the doctor: "My child is a boy or a girl." The doctor said: "Excuse me, According to regulations, I can not tell you I can only tell you that children are healthy, you see, here is thehand, here is the foot, here is a small JJ.

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no horse blowing faster than I am. . . . . .

, Veterinary commanded horses medication assistant: first a tube inserted in the horses mouth, half on the outside, the drug into the tube, an inflatable, the drug will enter the esophagus of a horse. The assistant returned, the Veterinary Q: eat aide said: no horse blowing faster than I am. . . . . .

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"Oh, you goside of sieve sand to go! "

Mason found new apprenticeship in a daze, standing before a pile of cement heap angrily asked: "how do you not work, hair what to stay?" The Apprentice: "my hands always trembling." Masons, said: "Oh, you goside of sieve sand to go! "

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the toilet must have to bring a pair of scissors '"

At work, Mike suddenly in a hurry to go out and do not want to leave, that will be allotted the Perfect Attendance Award. So ask to Lao Chen. Lao Chen smiled, said: "Before you go out, the computer open, turn off the screen saver, then open a few are dealing with documents and statements, so people will think you are in the vicinity. If someone asks you to go there, you said toilet. Remember, the phone should be placed on the desk, back when his mouth must be muttering sentence: 'MD, belts became a deadlock, a half-day can not be untied again, the toilet must have to bring a pair of scissors '"

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in particular, love to dream.

Interview."What qualifications do you?" Cambridge Master of foreign languages​​? "Understand, has been used in English in the school." To work experienced? "Stayed in the five hundred companies in the world." "Do you expect the monthly salary is? "one million dollars." the interviewer wrote: education, foreign languages​​, non-graduating students, in particular, love to dream.

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Wow, this SMS so funly

April Fool's Day to clever deceived deceive silver cheat money cheat love, romantic lie to love to lie to embrace silly fool the dog to tease the birds fooled mentally handicapped still laughing, dull looking phone said: Wow, this SMS so funly.

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do not see your turtle to the three countries is quite familiar.


Guan Yu went to go to the banquet of Chen-Wu, the door by the turtle, snake two will be stopped. Guan Yu asked why, the tortoise will say to those who commit the cardinal vices are not allowed to enter, warm wine chopped Chinese male was Cao Cao sent Mei Bi, launched gold dismount silver, more than five Nusha will therefore not be admitted. Guan Yu was shocked: do not see your turtle to the three countries is quite familiar.


the know tell me.

Question I am stumped, I think only you can help me, and asked: "plugging to aisle Zhushi" What does it mean? Must be repeated scrutiny, the know tell me.

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The wind lifted your hair

The wind lifted your hair, you look more chic! The waves beat your feet, you look more flawless! You greet the Oriental glow, like a wave flowers! Is not an acquaintance is difficult to see that you are a fool!

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"Well, a buffet!"

A Gay go to public bathing hall, a bath Church gathered in black, yellow, white people, bustling. Gay said with emotion: "Well, a buffet!"


I'll be leaving you.

A pair of lovers secretly thinking language. M: You are the second happiest people in the world. Woman: Why? M: Because I had you, I is the world's happiest people. Woman: Well! However, I will soon be the happiest person in the world. M: Why? Woman: I'll be leaving you.


each fragments are packaged separately.

A young man fell in love with a girl, this last girl to become his fiancee. This day birthday girl, young people want to send gifts. He came to the store, saw the diamonds, jewelry ... But they are too expensive. Suddenly the young man saw a vase, the vase is so beautiful that young people give it to his fiancee and appropriate, but feel. But it is still so expensive ...... the young man looked for a long time, finally manager to pay attention to him. After listening to his situation, the manager is very sympathetic. He pointed to the wall a lot of broken vase piece said: so, I get someone to take these pieces to be sent to you, let this door fashion accidentally fall not on the line? Girl birthday, young people are very nervous. Sure enough, a man brought a box, but as he entered, it fell to the ground. All guests are watching the box, open look, some broken vase tablets, each fragments are packaged separately.